pity party

i feel lost. i feel like i have no real friends.  i hate what im doing. i dont like the way i act. i just acted like a fool. im jealous.  im confused. i want to talk to someone but no one wants to listen and no ones even there.  even if i could explain its so complicated and the feelings are so deep.  im so emotionally invested in something that might never come to pass.  i want to be happy, i deserve to be happy.  i cant sleep.  i cant eat.  please God help me. this is me at my most vulnerable asking for help. i want to have the best day ever.  i've tried to be optimistic.  i listen to Og Mandino everyday, I studied David Wolfe, but im suffering. my heart yearns and my body aches. this is my plea, please show me a way out of this cycle of self-pity and negative thinking, please help me get some sleep. please bring some love in my life, i don;t want to be so pathetic, i have something to offer the world, i can do it, i like myself, but im just having a really really hard time recently.  help me see the forest not the trees. i want to find a purpose for being here. help me see the light. i dont want to be a quitter. give me strength show me the way.  I've read Luke 12:22 over and over and over please please help me believe it.  i trust you. I;ve fallen on my knees.  Im asking, Im knocking please open the door. ill do anything you ask Lord just please show me the way, im not asking for opportunity because i know there are infinite opportunities im simply asking for guidance because im so lost.  show me the way. i want to do what is right.  if i have ever written anything honest in my whole 24 years this is it, please lift this depression from my soul.  because i cant carry this burden any longer or at least give me the courage and power to endure it Lord, remember Cali? I said i would try my best, i am trying my best, all i have is love, give me some perspective, give me patience, please give me peace in my heart. thank you for all the gifts i do have, and for the time youve given me, may peace be with you and me and her and him, amen.